State of The Empire Address

PFA: My fellow Mardonians in order to create a more perfect empire we must halt the infighting throughout Mardonia. This political civil war has constantly impeded any efforts for decisive action concerning the issues that greatly concern us all as citizens of this wonderful tract of land we call Mardonia. We are truly a blessed people, our land has had God's grace shed on it, yet we consistently across the board bicker, argue and yes even kill each other. The attacks on Cinco De Mayo on one of Mardonia's greatest institutions have truly disheartened us all. I am talking of course about the attacks on the Dairy Queen by the rebel faction the MMM. The McCheese Monopoly Movement has occupied one of our most dear business establishments in order to obtain a monopoly on providing Mardonia with artery clogging delicious food. So it's time for some straight talk: McCheese, you messed up bad, you broke rule numero uno, you messed with my steady supply of snickers blizzards. McCheese is a fascist dictator who's goal in life is nothing more than the imminent destruction of all we hold dear. This is why I must act decisively, McCheese you have forty-eight hours to withdraw Ronald, Grimace, and the Hamburgerlar from Dairy Queen or their will be nuclear retaliation, you've been warned. Thank you and God Bless Mardonia