A Word With Our President: PPFA

RMD: Mr. President as you know news has been slow these last few weeks and you have been unavailable to the public. With all of your time off you must have many updates to give the people of Mardonia.

PFA: Well, the reason I took time off was to further myself and gain knowledge. I received an honorary doctorate from Carnegie Melon and I am also an honorary professor. Which as I found out during my short stay at the university is that I apparently have the right to force my opinions on others and that I can never be wrong.

RMD: I hardly think that because you are an honorary professor that means that you are always right.

PPFA: You've never been to a university have you?

RMD: No.

PPFA: See, that proves it, I can make random insinuations about things that I know nothing about and can be right, over and over again.

RMD: Sir can we get back to the news.

PPFA: Sure, what are you questions, I shall allow you a quick drink from the fountain of knowledge that is Professor President Fitzgerald Awesome.

RMD: Sir the largest story is your decision to discuss selling the Mardonian Memorial Hospital, do you have any comments?

PPFA: Well, I always thought it was important for the municipality of Mardonia to own the means of production so as to prevent all powerful business men to control the downtrodden workers. For you see if the state owns the means of production only good can come of it, everyone knows government is a great managerial power.

RMD: Sir, isn't that Communism.

PPFA: Why yes it is, I'm a professor now, which means I have found better means than your American capitalism.

RMD: But sir, every time Communism has been tried it has failed miserably and led to civil unrest and violations of human rights.

PPFA: SHHHH! If they find out I'm not a communist I can't be a professor anymore.

RMD: Ok? Anyway what prompted this sudden interest in selling Mardonia's hospital?

PPFA: It's losing money, and we have to build a new Empirical building, and many other public works projects.

RMD: But sir, isn't that a capitalist idea?

PPFA: Nope, I can't be wrong remember?

RMD: Yes sir whatever you say.

This complete story can be found at http://74.95.82.237:591/mmonline/FMPro?-db=mmonline.fp5&-format=record%5fdetail.html&-lay=allfields&lay=allfields&Category=Top%20Stories&ArticleStatus=Current&-max=20&-recid=12585563&-find=