A Word With Our President: Funked Up Mardonia

RMD: Mr. President, Mardonia has been in the news a lot lately for various reasons I'm sure you're aware of, do you have any thoughts?

PFA: I like reading about myself.

RMD: No, I mean, for example, what about that medical trash that was dumped all over down town Mardonia?

PFA: I didn't have anything to do with it I swear!

RMD: Sir, I didn't suggest...

PFA: No, but you implied that somehow I got ahold of some morphine and magic mushrooms and ran around town sprinkling syringes, which I thought were peppermint patties, in people's yards. I didn't know people would step outside in their slippers and start their day off getting AIDS from a mystery needle, it was a mistake.........but I didn't do it.

RMD: Ok, ok calm down. Sir what about the high failure rate at humble Vardonia (The Highschool).

PFA: I knew once I graduated the test scores would plummet. I was single handedly responsible for Vardonias once illustrious test scores.

RMD: Sir, I'm sorry, but your glory days are over now.

PFA: Well, here's what we'll do. I'll set aside five million dollars for osmosis.

RMD: Osmosis sir.

PFA: Yea, osmosis is a process where water creates a balance inside and outside a membrane.

RMD: Sir, could you stop reading from your hand.

PFA: I have a theory, this could could work with knowledge. I want to set up a series of experiments where a smart person's head is tied to a dumb person's head for a predetermined amount of time. The knowledge should seek equilibrium and thus transfer the knowledge to the dumb person, that way instead of having something good and something bad, we'll have two mediocre people.

RMD: Well sir, my final question is what are your comments on your recent decision to put a toll road on US 522 and on WV Route 9.

PFA: I didn't have any choice, you can't handle the truth, what we've got here is...failure to communicate.

RMD: Sir, reciting cliches from Cool Han Luke won't get you out of this large blunder.

PFA: You had me at hello.....this doing anything for ya?

RMD: Not doing anything for me.

PFA: Not at all?

RMD: Nope.

PFA: Damn, well I guess I have no choice, I have to own up to it. I owe millions of dollars to the Colombian Cartel and the Sicilian Mafia.

RMD: What on Earth for?

PFA: protection

RMD: from who?

PFA: From....the ghost of Biggie Smalls.

RMD: Sir?

PFA: I have a La Resistance exclusive for you I may have killed Biggie Smalls, and now he is haunting me and trying to kill me.

RMD: Sir, you killed Biggie Smalls?

PFA: I couldn't handle my anger when Tupac was killed. His rhythmic melodies about thug life and hustling made me relaxed and euphoric, I blamed Biggie, so I had him killed.

RMD: Sir, haven't the people suffered enough taxes and fees. Home foreclosures are at an all time high, and the government seems to be going back to the taxpayer well too many times.

PFA: So you're saying that I'm causing people to lose their homes?

RMD: Yes.

PFA: Awesome.....sleep over at my mansion.

RMD

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www.morganmessenger.com