A Word With Our President: Open for Business

RMD: Mr. President the great state of Zardonia is in a joyous uproar this day because the state empirical government has decided to change the "Open For Business" welcome signs in favor of new "Wild and Wonderful" signs. What are your thoughts?

PFA: Well I don't want to brag but...

RMD: But what?

PFA: You're welcome

RMD: Sir, I'm afraid I don't understand.

PFA: Well I have a La Resistance exclusive for you. I'm single handedly responsible for getting the welcoming signs changed.

RMD: Sir, How did you manage that.

PFA: I met up with some friends from the Arm the Homeless Campaign and well...armed the homeless and told them that if they wanted a happy meal they would pressure the Zardonian government to get those signs changed.

RMD: Sir, I'm not sure that I agreed with your methods, but what prompted this sudden surge in interest? In general you're so indifferent on matters such as this.

PFA: I'm opening a brothel, it's called the Lewinsky. I need those signs for publicity. I was driving by and saw the picture of two mountains spread eagle with a fertile valley in the middle and it said "Open for Business" and I thought to myself "that would be perfect for my new bordello." So I hatched my elaborate scheme.

RMD:.....

PFA: What's the matter with you?

RMD: Oh sir, I'm sorry I just thought for a minute that you had a genuine interest in the opinions and desires of the people of Mardonia.

PFA: Nope, not in the least.

RMD: Well, sir to you're credit I do suppose that indirectly you did some good. Sir, it is also reported that Zardonian ambassador Byrd has allotted a large sum of money for a new rail trail, what are your thoughts?

PFA: What's that? I couldn't hear you over the crunching of these pork rinds I'm eating.

RMD: I was asking about...

PFA: Ohhh this bacon is soooooo good.

RMD: Sir!

PFA: These pig's feet are absolutely orgasmic!

RMD: Sir!

PFA: What!, can't a man enjoy various pork products in peace without these constant interruptions.

RMD: Sir, I wanted to ask about the new rail trail.

PFA: I think it's great. *whispers he's got my office bugged* The rail trail is a great use of taxpayer dollars. Did you know that Zardonian ambassador Byrd's one hundred and thirty-second birthday is coming up next week? Don't tell him, but I got him a fifty-five gallon drum of fresh stem cells, it's great for the skin.

RMD: Sir, is there anything else that's happening around Mardonia this week?

PFA: I've initiated my new Parking Sexiness Counter Initiative. The Islamic extremists have turned our gorgeous meter maid into a jolly old bald man. Will those basterds stop at nothing? Under my new initiative plastic surgery will be openly available for free for all of our meter maids.

RMD: Thank you sir for another amazingly complicated solution to a simple problem

RMD