A Word With Our President: On Zoning

RMD enters the office covered in mud and leaves, he smells of car exhaust and motor oil. He is obviously tired and a bit besmirched.

PFA: What happened to you?

RMD: You know good and well what happened to me. You had a police officer throw me out of my house. I was getting ready for bed last night and I got thrown out of my house. The officer said that according to your zoning laws... *a picture frame on the wall cracks*

PFA: You can't say that! That is the thing not to be named!

RMD: What zoning laws? *A whiskey bottle breaks on the president's desk*

PFA: Stop that, don't say that word anymore, it is the thing not to be mentioned, get it?

RMD: Whatever, anyway the officer said that according to the thing not to be named it was against the law for me to dwell within twenty-five feet of my house. They also tore my house down because it was not exactly twenty six and one half feet high and it did not have the required number of windows. I had to sleep exactly twenty-five feet away from my house, which is in the middle of the road. What in God's name are you thinking making these things that are not to be named.

PFA: Oh....So that's why you smell like motor oil, that's pretty funny.

RMD: It is not funny! I don't suspect you were thrown out of your house were you?

PFA: Nope, mine is the right height and has the right number of windows, you should've checked the zoning laws. *The Presiden'ts office door falls off its hinges* Damnit, now you got me doing it.

RMD: How could you make these laws?

PFA: Look, it's not my job to make the laws!

RMD: But you're the president

PFA: Why yes, yes I am. Okay here's what we'll do I'll buy you three single wide trailers and stack them on top of each other, that way youre house will meet the height requirement and the number of windows. It may not be the most structurally sound, and you'll have to use a ladder to get between floors, and by the way I'd sleep on the top floor in case the whole thing collapses.

RMD: Thank you Mr. President for another complicated solution to a simple problem.

RMD leaves the room and before he opens the door he turns around and shouts "Zoning!" The President's desk collapses in his lap.

RMD