Blood in my Alchohol

It was a fine evening in rural Mardonia. I remember it like it was yesterday, I was eating a TV dinner with my attractive wife Karen, it was the beef rib dinner. Some game show was on and I was thoroughly enjoying it's witty host and realistic contestant. Suddenly I heard a noise outside and a white light saturated my living room. When I came to I found my living room in shanbles. Karen was distrought and swearing in no particular coherence. I was still in my recliner, pinned down by my TV tray and it was then I saw him. A man, he had white hair and a beard, he looked wise and seemed to have a lot of experience, like he was some sort of elected official. It was then that he spoke to me: "Oh Jesus, where am I? Is this my house? God, I am so hammered right now." I suddenly realized what was going on, this man wasn't John McCain or some kind of deity he was some alchoholic who drove into my house.
I escaped from beneathe my TV tray and apprehended him. I held him while Karen called the Mardonian authorities. When they arrived they drew their weapons and demanded I let the man go. I complied and they helped him to his feet, I suspected to put him in handcuffs and charge him with DUI, but this was not to happen. They tackled me in my own home and demanded I apologize to the man. When I asked why they said that my house shouldn't of crossed his path. The idea that my house's location and somehow my ownership of it made this act of negligence my fault. After they left I slept out in a tent in my front yard, and almost froze to death. When I awoke the next day the mail lady was pulling away from my house. I went to my mailbox where I suspected that I had recieved some package. I rummaged through my mail hoping to find something to brighten my day, but to my dismay I found a bill for the damage to the man's car. How is it that I should have to pay for the negligence of another? Is that the American way. Then I opened another letter making me aware that my water was leaking and my sewer was polluting the springs and I would have to pay for that also.

PFA

Government By The People

The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Gettysburg Address 1863

What a great Utopian idea our country is founded on, a government by the people, yet this idea is more and more becoming a pipe dream. As many of you know politics is a field that can bend the iron spirits of the strongest Americans. So why would anyone want to enter this depressing field? One enters politics with the hope of being able to make their stamp on history and furthermore to give back to the nation that has been so good to you and I. Our government was designed to allow you and I to make the effort to better our nation, but this is not the case in modern times.
Yes, an elite group of businessmen have made our government there own through various dirty tactics. Much like expensive homes being built in your neighborhood can make your home less valuable these elitists have thrown enough money into politicking to make it inaccessible to the general public. A campaign requires a staff, advertising (signs, commercials, etc.), and it even costs a considerable sum to enter a race at all. On top of those many costs it is also unlikely or completely impossible for a public official to be employed anywhere else. Politicians have made legislation that doesn't allow for ordinary people to supplement a politician's meager wages with another job deeming it a conflict of interest.
Because our public officials cannot hold another job in most cases they do not have a job to return to when they decide to resign or do not get reelected. This is why we have an epidemic of career politicians in this nation. Our best presidents and congressmen are driving a cab in the Bronx, but cannot afford to bring their innovative and revolutionary ideas into the public realm and make them a reality.
Most of the presidential candidates have at least one thing in common, they are running on a message of change, they are running against the status quo. If change is truly what the American people want they need to support legislation to make government more accessible for you and I.

PFA

Group Flirting

As a member of male society I, like many of you have engaged in group flirtation with those of the opposite sex. Many of you are now wondering what "group flirting" is and how it is performed, well let me assure you that it happens everyday in college campuses and high schools across our nation, I also imagine that it happens in offices and bars as well. Group flirting is a practice in which a group of males surround a lone female and all at the same time try to assert dominance over the other and win the affections of the female.
I saw this in practice just today in the hallways outside of my classes. A group of eligible and of course horny college males were all competing for one singular female. I laughed about this quietly in my head as I watched them all making a futile attempt at gaining the opportunity to perform sensual acts. Little did these guys know that none of them would ever have a chance at what they were ultimately seeking.
These inexperienced men were chasing a false dream. All of the times I have seen this in practice throughout high school and my brief college career I have never heard of one instance in which this tactic leads to its ultimate end. The practice is desirable for the men because many of them at this age find one on one time with women awkward and uncomfortable. Having your friends there seems to make your chances of being witty and clever more likely in that it creates a comfortable and laid back environment, but it also thins an individuals chances by spreading them among a group. The practice is of course desirable to women because it seems that attention equals sustenance for young attractive females.
The reason it doesn't work is because most women aren't interested in sleeping with an entire group of men. Take a lesson from the Night at the Roxberry guys, this doesn't work. If a girl feigns interest in you and your friends that means she is not interested in you.

PFA

Teaching to the Test

Preparation for the world beyond is the goal of all public education. So why is it that these same institutions are discouraging free thought. I know what you're thinking...PFA, how could this happen, how could the educational system be broken? In two simple words the answer is standardized testing.
These tests encourage the youth of our nation to regurgitate useless facts instead of fabricating new ideas. Youth are encouraged to memorize but not to think. And this brings me to The No Child Left Behind Act. While this bit of government legislation did not start this trend it certainly did reinforce it. The incentive the act uses to make sure that these institutions excel at these tests is further disturbing. Public schools that do not meet these requirements lose their federal funding which raises the question, who in their right mind would think it a good idea to cut federal funding to a school that is already floundering. It makes sense to me, lets take away much needed supplies from a school that is already performing horribly. Is it not enough that the low test scores are more than likely caused by the fact that tests are modern and the text books are from the seventies. And thus begins a vicious cycle. Students cannot pass a test because schools cannot afford new text books, and schools cannot afford new text books because they cannot pass a test.

PFA

Gratuitous Spending, A Word With Our President

RMD: Mr. President a great tradgedy has befallen our beloved Mardonia, we have lost our Empiracle Building
PFA: When the hell did that happen?
RMD: Sir you're in charge and should know as an elected official that we have been operating without our courthouse for some time.
PFA: Oh, yea, I remember that now, what about it?
RMD: Rumor has it that you and your officers have decided to raise taxes to build a new courthouse and are accruing a multi million dollar debt for our county to build it. A lot of our citizens are angry about these tax hikes for our new courthouse that burned down do you think that this tradgedy could of been averted.
PFA: Well do you know how much smoke detectors cost? They just happen to cost 12.5 million dollars, and where would you like me to get that kind of money.
RMD: Sir, smoke detetctors only cost five dollars, I think you're referring to the cost of our burnt down courthouse.
PFA: Now it wouldn't do any good to put a smoke detector in a burnt down courthouse now would it? You thought you had me!
RMD: *sigh* At any rate sir, could the county use the soon to be closed War Memorial Hospital building for the new courthouse, and would this alternative be more cost effective than building a new courthouse.
PFA: But I want a new one!
RMD: Also sir, don't you think that the new parking lot left by the dismembered courthouse is good for local businesses.
PFA: I really need to get some parking meters in that parking lot, I'm losing my ass on that. OK I got a solution we'll get a circus to loan us a tent and we'll keep the courthouse there. That way I can keep myself entertained with the elephants, and the bearded lady. How awesome would that be, our government inside a circus....awesome.
RMD: I hardly see how that solves the...
PFA: I have made my decision! and it will stand. *Note to self, call Barnum and Bailey*
RMD: Thank you sir for another incredibly complicated solution to a simple problem.

RMD

Smoke and Freedom

Is it the right of local, state, and federal governments to dictate what someone can do with his or her property? Of course the answer that most of us come to is no. Many of us, my self included, believe that the government should have no say in what we do with our personal property. If I want to put a new couch in my apartment, should I have to get a permit to do so? of course not. If this is the case than why do we allow our government to ban smoking in businesses that are privately owned and operated.
My home town recently banned indoor smoking and this has caused a great deal of controversy among local business owners. One such instance is our local bowling alley; for the longest time smoking was allowed in the bowling alley and in the connected bar. This has long since become a thing of the past. I understand banning smoking in public buildings, for those belong to the government and they should be able to do as they please with their own property, but to ban smoking in private businesses without the consent of the owner seems to go against the fundamental beliefs of our country in that by this precedent the government has been allowed to tell someone what to do with their private property.
The citizens of our country have taken convenience over freedom. It's not easy enough to express your discontent with a businesses practices by, I don't know, not spending your money there, but we opted out to change the law in favor of giving up some of our freedoms. Instead of changing the laws it would be less short sighted to force a business to change their practices out of economic necessity instead of political necessity.
Freedoms are not lost overnight, but it is rather a slow and gradual process. Bans on smoking are just one rung on the ladder. If the government can ban smoking in private businesses because it is unhealthy, what is to say they can't tell you how many times a week you can eat cheese burgers in private homes. The choice should be given to the individual, but isn't that a current trend in society, to take responsibility out of the hands of the individual and give it to the state. I for one do not want disconnected lifetime politicians making hypocritical decisions about my everyday life, those choices are mine and yours to make.

PFA

Bottle Blondes and Politics

Being a freshman in a major University is not that much different than being a freshman in High school. The inexperience is the same, the learning curve is the same, in fact, College life is not at all that different from being in High School. High School is often thought of as a place of preparation for college and beyond, and in the sense of society it serves its purpose. The cliques and interactions between them are the same.
Today I quietly observed a group of females seated across from me in our mess hall. The most discerning thing about them was their apparent lack of intellect. They were talking about current events, politics and things of the like. It was then I heard one of them mutter the following: "I'm going to vote for John Edwards because he is cute and I like his haircut," another one said they would vote for Clinton because she was the only female running. This seemingly meaningless and insignificant conversation takes on larger meaning to someone who believes that small groups can represent a greater society.
These young women represent a new class of voters who wield a disturbing amount of power. They don't look at foreign or economic policy or any number of more important characteristics, but make their decisions based upon things like haircuts and gender. This is not to say that women or only the young make decisions based on such superficial characteristics.
My mother told me of another example. An elderly woman in the hospital where she works said that she would vote for Clinton because she was elderly and wanted to see a woman president before she passed away. This is an easy argument for her to make because she will not have to live the repercussions of her eventual decision. The news talks of similar characteristics, they always talk of the black vote for Obama and the female vote for Clinton, or the evangelical vote for Huckabee, things like policy and goals have become an afterthought. I would argue that most U.S. voters including myself do not even know the policies of the people that they will be voting for in November.
With the discontent shared by most of the American people for their elected officials one must ask themselves how we came to the government that we currently have. The discontent is caused by the fact that most elected officials are completely out of touch with the world in which the proletariat live, but those officials are elected because of the general ignorance of the American public concerning economic, foreign and domestic policy.

PFA

Intoduction

The best writers in the history of the world have been nothing more than great observers of the human condition. Human nature is a curious thing, people are generally good natured but are full of flaws. These flaws often display irony, comedy, and tradgedy. An interesting paradox becomes apparent. This blog is through the eyes of an observer of this human nature. I want to expose these ironies and tradgedies in order to give my readers a better sense of their condition, to open their eyes to their shortcomings and the natural comedy that surrounds our everyday lives. Logic is a curious thing, and the secrets of humanity's conflict can be unlocked by our logic. It is through this logic that we are seperated from beasts.

PFA